lamenting and listening and learning

Hi friends. As I’m sure is the case with many of you reading this post, you are lamenting alongside the African American community as their cries for justice ring through not only this nation but throughout the world. I wrote a post on my Instagram which I felt led to share here, but I also find it prudent to express on this platform that it is time to put the name of this blog into action: Hands and Feet. Now more than ever followers of Christ, myself included, must lean into this calling to imitate Christ and walk as He walked, pursuing justice and loving others fully without any conditions. I pray that we as a community would have resilience through the Holy Spirit in this process of learning and listening and lamenting with fellow image-bearers. I share this post with you today without answers, but simply with convictions and aspirations which God has put on my heart. I want to stand and work for greater empathy and unity with the African American community, now and for the rest of my days. Friends, I hope you will join me.

My Latest Instagram Post:

“for the first time in a long time, i’ve hesitated to write. as someone with a passion for words and the power they possess, I struggled to see the purpose of sharing mine in this time. I’ve been lamenting and listening and learning this past week, but I have feared contributing to social media because I didn’t want to contribute for the sake of contributing nor did i want to say the wrong thing. I was still in a space of helplessness but today the Lord has given me conviction for repentance and action. today at work, I was blessed enough to engage in conversations which have impacted me deeply and I pray will not only imprint my heart today but for the rest of my days. I often write about what i’m learning, but these days the risk feels greater—yet this I have come to know is why it is most important to speak up now. I am a white woman and my reality has been one of privilege. meanwhile, fellow image-bearers of the Living God have not lived in the same reality as me because of the color of their skin. I want to speak clearly when I say this is detestable and desperately needs to change. I also want to clearly say, that I have not done enough and I want to sincerely apologize for any ways in which i’ve participated in this injustice and for any hurt I may have contributed to. I have not acknowledged my privilege everyday while everyday those in the African American community face systematic and institutional racism. as a follower of Christ I have not leaned fully into the greatest commandment Jesus instructs us to abide by “to love my neighbor as myself”. this I feel convicted of today, this is the question I need to keep asking in my daily life: do I truly see everyone around me in the same light as I see myself? I need to recognize every bias thought that crosses through my head and identify it for what it truly is. today, the prayer of Psalm 139 is on my heart “search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. see if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.” this is the prayer I need to pray over myself and over our country. God sees the evil in our very core, the evil that we may not always see ourselves. yet, there it sits and creeps it’s way into our hearts and into our nation. I must pray for God to expose the evil within me, then do something about it. i must surrender my heart to be softened by God in order to truly see all of His beautiful people through His eyes. I want to reiterate that I do not write these words to be ephemeral—there is much work to be done in my heart and the heart of America. but i deeply believe words are the stepping stones to action. this post is simply an expression of what the Lord is teaching me and these are the prayers and questions I personally feel convicted to tether myself to, today and everyday going forward.”